As I was thinking about what to write for my next blog, I got the words for the title: The Preparing. The next stage in our journey is to prepare. I count this as the easiest stage, at least the easiest emotional stage.
Fuelled by adrenaline and excitement of an adventure and a new future. Dreaming of riding along the Malecon, and doing my uni work on the roof while looking out onto the ocean. Sitting around a table as a beautiful symphony of languages collide in a choir of chatter. Looking out the plane window as I fly above city lights and time stills. And of course meeting an exotic boy, who seems like he has just stepped right out of a movie.
The preparing.
It's different from the leaving.
It's different from the adjusting.
It’s different from the settling.
As we talk about the leaving my friends and I say it hasn't hit us yet, but that it will when we are at the airport. That we will be wrecks when the time comes for me to leave, and see you later doesn’t mean on Monday, but rather in a year's time.
I have come to the conclusion that no matter how much I focus on preparing, nothing can prepare me for the fact that when all the excitement has died down I will be sitting alone in a strange bedroom, in a stranger's house, in a strange country.
My life will have been flipped upside down.
I think a lot of us fear the unknown. That is why we make endless to-do lists and fill our planers with our never ending activities. We want to feel in control.
Well that is something I don't have the luxury of feeling.
I am stepping into the unknown with all control surrendered to God.
That's scary.
But it is necessary to do God's work.
Let's be real, when have my plans for my life ever been better than Gods?
So I step into the unknown, physically prepared. Passport in hand, Ugg boots and neck pillow secured, headphones on and music and movies downloaded. Emotionally is where I lack.
But where I lack in my faith, the Lord is plentiful.
I step on to the plane.
And I trust my lord to fly it.
Annie
Annie, this is absolutely beautifully written. I remember you as a little girl and now you’re off on an adventure, doing God’s work. You are amazing and I can’t wait to keep up with the Madigans!