I got paid on Tuesday. Happens like clockwork. Work ten days over the fortnight and then on every second Tuesday night money appears in my main account and mortgage account and bills get paid. Sometimes I don’t even think about it. I don’t think about the comfort, the normality, and the security. But I thought hard about it this Tuesday as I realised I have only three said Tuesdays left.
A few months ago, we made the decision to resign my job and move into full time mission in Mexico in 2022 and 2023. To move from secure Tuesdays to pretty much the unknown. The mission group we are going with requires all volunteers to become 100% self-funded. It’s not a crazy model as thousands before us have done it and thousands after us will. But the rub for us is that last time we did this we were 22 and 23 years old. Young. Carefree. Nimble. But now we are older. Parents. Mortgaged. Responsible.
So, it feels radically different this time. Not just because we are moving from stable to unknown but because we are moving from independent to interdependent. One of the great cultural norms of our sending country, whether spoken or not, is independence. You are responsible to provide for yourself and your family. Its on you. So, get a job, stick in the grind and provide. The model we are moving into is interdependence. We will go if enough friends and family will become our mission partners. I keep telling myself that it’s what every church and charity over all time have done to survive and thrive. It’s just that they have the buffer of the organisation, so the ask doesn’t seem too confronting. But that’s what happens with every single Kingdom of God enterprise. People ask, people partner, money is distributed, and the mission goes on. This feels nerve racking because I’m now fifty and we are asking people directly.
The first thing people have been saying to me after the news broke was “that sounds so exciting”. Don’t get me wrong, it is going to be great swapping my office-based role for frontline evangelism, training, and poverty relief work in Mexico. It’s just I can see this massive step between now and this exciting mission. A step that rages against independence. A step that rages against the norms of my age. And that is asking every single believer I know if they will consider joining our sending team. Not via some impersonal charity fundraiser you receive in your letterbox or the weekly offering plate but directly and personally. It feels like I’m at the edge of a suspension bridge. Taking my first step to see if the bridge will hold my weight. For every friendship we have is like a suspension bridge and asking for financial support is like taking a step on that bridge and not knowing if our friendship has the strength to hold the weight of a financial ask.
So, I sit here ruminating about “Can I ask this person?”, “What will this person think?”. It’s really scary to tell you the truth and incredible humbling at fifty years of age. And we now know what we didn’t at 22, how hard it really is for people who donate to earn money, year in year out, and make ends meet. The gravity is not lost on us. So, it’s not something done lightly. We come with heart in hand and lump in throat. Knowing that such an ask can make or break a friendship.
So, if you get a message or a link to an ask video, please see our heart behind it. Our heart to include you in a mission team. Our heart to give you an opportunity to partner in uncharted territory. Our heart to ask you to be an active partner in a mission force. Our hope is that our friendships will become stronger. Stronger than any bridge and able to hold the weight of a missions ask and continue whether or not you feel called to give. Matt